Maiden Voyage

taking it personally

the great relief and absence of pain can make you euphoric only when bracketed by the constant throbbing and ache of a vengeful tooth; so the days-and nights- have gone; pain, meds, temporary relief, return of pain. I tried, at first, like a good Buddhist, to use the experience, as practice. I entered the pain, tried to see the throb throb throbbing. the rhythmic pulsing, radiating first to the front of my mouth, then to my upper jaw. was it hot? did it have a color? I was a dismal failure. I wanted to dissipate it by experiencing it. Instead it soared and bulged and seemed to feed on the attention I was bringing to it. I only craved relief, not enlightenment. Motrin, Aleve, Tylenol, in succession, alternated, all brought short relief. The ibuprofin with codine made me mildly euphoric, but didn't do any better obliterating the pain and made it impossible to work. The horse sized amoxicillin the dentist prescribed didn't disappear the imagined infection either. I am off to the have the dentist take one more look at this mysterious enamel coated monster, who I somehow have mistreated or offended and who has sought his revenge. What festering absess is he cooking up in his den? Will we be able to unearth it and thwart his evil plan to ruin my Rosh Hashanah? Stay tuned.