what a fabulous word...e-stranged...you become strange to someone with whom you used to be familiar...you used to know every burp, thought, blemish, sleepless night, obsession, joke, reference, nuance in their face, ring on their fingers, sock in their drawer. You used to know where they were, who they were meeting with, which doctor's appointment they had, what time they were coming home, which muscle group they were doing at the gym, how much wine they drank, when they used the last sheet of toilet paper, finished the seltzer, threw in a dark load, threw out the crossword puzzle.
Now you meet for dinner, sit across the table from one another, chatting pleasantly, laughing at the obsessive compulsive lady at the table behind, dividing her food by color group, each in its own separate space, not touching and she doesn't even try to hide it. You try and figure out what language the party of twelve next to you is speaking and you share your pad tai, but you don't know what is in her heart, how she really feels, what she cares about, who she is now.
You leave the restaurant and unexpectedly stumble on the donor/daddy....the guy who made your son's life possible....and his wife. You stand there awkwardly kvelling about your "collective" son, make a joke about genes, and for a moment, you two are together, Alex's moms, again.
When you get home, you introduce her to your neighbor as your EX, and the word turns to ashes in your mouth. But that is now, what (who, she would correct me) she is. Strange.
Posted by grabiner at October 11, 2003 07:51 AM